Things I've Learned from Linda

My mom is one of the single most-influential people in my life. I would not be the woman I am today without her. If you'll let me, I'd like to share a little bit of our story. The things she taught me, especially before I started school, set the course of my life.

My mother made it a point to always talk to me about the world I was discovering.

As we went about the day--playing at the park, grocery shopping, watching tv--she talked about the things I saw and made sure to answer my questions. She encouraged my curiosity. I knew that no matter what my question, I would get an honest answer even if it was "I don't know." Though I would get the occasional "I'll tell you when you're older," my mom didn't lie or make up answers to questions she didn't want to talk about. As a result, I trusted what she said and trusted her. Talking to her was a safe place. I always felt like my thoughts, feelings, and questions were valid.

My mother taught me that I was important.

I knew that I was special, unique, smart, and that God had a purpose for my life. My mother also taught me that EVERYONE was created by God and was special, unique, and important. I learned at a young age that my value was just as important as the value of others. I was never to use my strengths to hurt or make others feel less than me. While my friends were busy playing in the power struggle of the playground, I was almost oblivious to it. I didn't need to put other kids down to feel important, I already knew I was.

My mother taught me to treat others the way I would want to be treated.

I was raised to speak up for those who didn't have a voice. I was taught to be nice to those who were different and not to stare or tease those with a disability. I was taught to stand up for those who were being bullied and to not be crushed when other kids picked on me. I was taught that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them. When kids were mean to me, she'd explain that they didn't know how important they were and that being mean to others made them feel better about themselves. It made me want to pray for them so they'd understand how awesome they were to God, and it helped me not take things personally.

My mother taught me about relationships...early.

I remember being 2 or 3 years old and someone asking me if the little boy I was playing with was my boyfriend. My mother politely answered "No," then turning to me said, "Ricky is your best buddy, isn't he?" I said "Yes!" and went on playing. Later, she talked to me about it. She explained that "big girls" should only have boyfriends when they are ready to get married. She told me that God already knew who my husband would be and that I didn't need to have a boyfriend until I was ready to get married. She said God would bring my husband to me when the time was right, and that I didn't need to look for him. She explained that not everyone believed that way and that my friends would have boyfriends and girlfriends as I got older, but that I didn't need to worry about it.

I kid you not, before most kids knew how to tie their shoes, I already knew God had a plan for my life and that relationships with the opposite sex were not meant to be cavalier. This one truth, reemphasized in different ways by my mother as I grew older, protected my life and purity. While other girls in Pre-K and elementary school were kissing under the jungle gym, playing "mommy and daddy," and beginning to believe the lie that their value was directly attached to whether or not boys liked them, I was nowhere to be found. I didn't get involved at all.

My mother taught me how to have a relationship with God and His Word.

It was always obvious to me that my mom had a relationship with God. Every morning, I'd find her in the living room with her Bible, notebook, and a cup of coffee. Each afternoon, when she made me take a nap, I'd hear her praying in the other room. I wasn't just raised in church, there was no separation between God at church and God at home. Everything my mother did and said was filtered through her relationship with God and His Word. When hard times hit our family, she would pull out God's promises and we'd pray and declare them together. When I needed or wanted something that we couldn't afford, she would show me the verses in the Bible where God promises to take care of His children. We would pray together and believe God for whatever it was. When I was sick or hurt, she'd pray for me. There never was a time where my family did not love and serve God because there was never a time she did not love and serve God. As I grew and developed my own relationship with God and His Word, I saw all the principles my mother taught me at work in the world around me. From her practical interpretation of the scriptures, I learned how to read and pull out the truths that I could apply to my life.

Parents, your voice is important in the lives of your children.

No matter what the circumstance, God has given you grace (supernatural empowerment) to parent your children. You don't have to be the smartest, or have your life and relationship with God all figured out. You just need to talk to them and share what you do know. Let their curiosity inspire you to grow and dig deeper. Your wisdom can save them YEARS of pain, heartache, and mistakes. It is never too early or too late. As long as you are their parent, you have something to add to your child's life and it always makes a difference. Purpose to seek God for the heart of your children. He has a plan for your life and theirs, and guess what? They are connected!

Happy growing!