Guidelines to Navigate Black Social Media Successfully

flowers, cup of tea, woman's hands typing on laptop

I strongly encourage anyone who is not a person of color to explore black and brown posts on social media. You will learn so much! That being said, here are a couple of guidelines I’ve learned which may help you navigate black social media (and maybe in-person conversations) more successfully.

1. Read the entire post and all the comments to get a better idea of what was meant and how other people of color (POC) feel about it BEFORE you comment or ask questions.

I'm just going to be really honest here: as a white person looking in, a lot of what people of color discuss between themselves on social media can go over our heads. Our experiences in life are not the same. There are often cultural and historical references made in short-hand that we do not innately understand (look up what an "Uncle Tom" is). There can also be language and colloquialisms we are not familiar with.

Reading the comments is my biggest "trick" to gain understanding. You can find contextual clues, and also see the variety of thought on the issue. Seek to understand, google things you do not know, and ask intelligent questions. It is okay to be ignorant, it is not okay to bust into someone else's discussion with half-baked accusations and questions that you could have figured out yourself.

2. Do not comment and make it about you.

This is a common mistake white people make. We often do not realize we do this when we comment and engage with people different than us on social media.

Telling stories of the good you’ve done under someone’s post about their experience is a self-centered asshole move. Expecting a pat on the back for being a decent human is gross. Do not use their post to give examples as to how you too have experienced pain. Do not share a story about something bad you observed someone else do. And for the love of god, do not give them your solution to the problem. If you do not have deep personal experience or some sort of credible authority on the topic, your "solution" is meaningless and ill-informed. Seek to understand them and their experience, not to redirect attention to yourself or another topic of your choice.

Side note: this should go without saying, but do not comment "All Lives Matter" or bring up "black-on-black" crime in response to ANYTHING POC share. I'm serious, DON'T DO IT! They know all lives matter, and they know the issues within the black community much more intimately than you do. If you didn't know, those statements are 100% racially loaded. They may seem innocent to you, but I promise any brown and black person who hears them will instantly identify you as someone who is not safe.

If you're curious, do your own research on black-on-black crime. Look at actual statistics compared to white-on-white crime. Find out when the term first began to be used and why. You may be surprised.

3. Saying “I don’t see color” is actually a HUGE red flag to most people of color you speak to.

"I don't see color" does not mean what you think it does! It sounds really nice and safe to you, but to most black and brown people it means you’re ignorant at best, and very likely an unconscious bigot. Thems the rules. Take it out of your vocabulary entirely.

There are MANY reasons why "I don't see color" is considered racist. The one I will call out is: WHITE IS A COLOR.

When you say "I don't see color", you're telling on yourself that you think WHITE is the default (you don't even consider it a color). So, you're choosing to ignore and erase the identifying parts of other's lived experience (their racial and ethnic heritage) because you don't think it's important/relevant. And you're looking at them through a lens as if they're a white person, because to you that is the default. When put this way, "I don't see color" sounds a lot like white supremacy.

I encourage you to google it and see the wide variety of opinions on the issue for yourself. Also, if you have a relationship with a person of color, you're welcome to ask them their opinion on this issue (which they are welcome to choose to answer or not answer).

4. When someone tells you that your words are offensive, or challenges what you've said - believe them and ask questions to better understand.

Do not say “I think you took my statement out of context” or get defensive (I see this all the time with white people and the “I don’t see color” comment). What you MEANT is not important. You need to understand WHY what you said was interpreted as offensive. THEN you can adjust your words to better reflect what you meant.

Be humble. I know it is not pleasant to be well-intentioned and have someone tell you that you’re wrong or that you offended them. Your intentions do not matter when you cause pain. You do not have a right to have them understand YOU (once again it is not about you). Seek to understand first – not to defend yourself.

5. Do not ask “But, are you sure it was because you’re black?”

You may feel you’re asking a clarifying question, but what you’re really saying is that you would rather believe the best about the person who hurt them, than to believe them. It’s incredibly cruel. They are the only ones who experience discrimination based upon the color of their skin. They are the experts. When they tell you it is happening, BELIEVE THEM.

6. Do not use MLK quotes to try to tell black and brown people they’re fighting racism wrong or how they could do it better.

First of all, MLK is not the messiah of black people. His thoughts are not the universal standard for fighting oppression. Secondly, most of what you know about MLK has been whitewashed and taken out of context. He was a radical (by today's standards), a socialist, anti-capitalist, and pro-reparations for black people. He was hated (and killed) in his time and probably would be today, too.

7. If you’re reading general statements about white people and you think “not ALL white people” – do not comment this.

Believe me, they know it’s not all white people. The fact that you personally feel threatened and need to defend your honor by saying “not all white people” is something YOU should examine in yourself. Once again, it is not about you.

In general, when you have strong emotional reactions to something, don’t dismiss it or immediately unload in the comment section. If it isn’t about you, then why does it bother you so much? Take this time for some self-reflection.

I am not going to lie, reading some things about white people personally stings. I know it is not about me, but I feel some type of way anyway. I have to stop and ask myself, what am I making it mean about me? Why does it offend me so much? What am I missing? Once again, you do not need to defend the honor of white people in the comment section or correct someone who believes something you disagree with.

8. Lastly, people of color are not monolithic.

They are incredibly diverse and there is not just one black experience. Having one black friend or reading one post doesn’t give you insight into the whole culture. Don’t just surround yourself with black voices that say only what you believe, explore them all— especially the ones you do not agree with or make you uncomfortable.

Happy growing!